Stages of Making Empanadas for the First Time

Stage 1: “Oh wow, look at this quick recipe for empanada dough. It looks so easy!”

Stage 2: “Crap, I don’t have a food processor or a or a pastry cutter or a rolling pin. Well, I can just make do, right?”

Stage 3: “Get into little tiny pieces, you f*cking stick of butter. No, stop sticking to the fork. STOP. Argh!”

Stage 4: “Why is it so dry? I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to look like sand.”

Stage 5: “Okay, after adding copious amounts of water, the dough is made and now I need to let it chill for a bit I guess?”

Stage 6: “F*ck I let it chill for too long and now it’s hard as a rock. Now it’s gotta thaw!”

Stage 7: “It’s thawed and now I just realized that I’m gonna have to break it up into little pieces since my impromptu roller a la wine bottle can’t handle all of the dough.”

Stage 8: “Oh, cute little circles! I’m getting so close to finishing even though my hands feel like crap from all of the mixing and rolling.”

Stage 9: “‘Add shredded chicken and cheese.’ F*ck. I forgot about that.”

Stage 10: “Why won’t these damn empanada edges seal? Stop spilling open. Staaahp.”

Stage 11: “Look at all these cute hand pies I finally have. And it’s only 1:30 AM!”

Stage 12: “Well, time to freeze them and go to bed so that I don’t have to reflect too closely on my poor life choices!”

Inspired by a real-life experience in which Cinnia traded 5 hours of her life to make 25 empanadas because she didn’t think things through very well and forgot to follow the rule of “mise en place” before attempting anything.

Note: The picture is not mine; I got it from here. Believe you me, you don’t wanna know what mine looked like, but definitely not this nice!

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