Things that happen in large families

Or: Funky things that have really happened and that would be fun writing prompts or writing inspiration in the right, non-chronically-sleep-deprived-because-grad-school hands.

These are so underused in fiction even though they can be a treasure trove of humor and drama just waiting to happen. Admittedly, it would take more work to tweak these for a fantasy or science-fiction series, but it probably wouldn’t be impossible. Also, a lot of these can be applied to the Found Family/Family of Choice trope.

  • The youngest sibling and the oldest sibling wear styles from completely different decades (e.g. 80s and 90s) because the youngest kid’s entire wardrobe is hand-me-downs from the older ones. And yes, it looks as hilarious in family photos as you might think.
  • Birthdays and holidays spawning a lot of Dobby the House Elf moments
  • There is no such thing as a perfect family photo. Someone is always blinking or making a silly face or sneaking in a rude gesture. Always.
  • Grocery carts piled ridiculously high with the basics and yet inevitably one item on the list will always be forgotten and it just so happens to be essential for dinner
  • Cooking a meal involves both racks of the oven, three-quarters of the stove, and sometimes an electric griddle or crock pot on the side
  • Bunkbed Discourse™ x1000
  • Four+ people trying to get ready in a bathroom at the same time (the nicer ones will eventually give up and get ready in a bedroom that has a decent mirror but they’ll still maintain that the bathroom mirror is the best)
  • One sibling piled under two blankets with three pillows over their head in their fully-lit bedroom at 1:38 AM because one of their siblings procrastinated on their homework. Meanwhile, a third sibling reads a book and the fourth sibling sneaks back through the window from their latest nighttime adventure.
  • Similarly, siblings getting roped into homework projects and favors around the clock, especially if they involve videos, pranks, or both
  • One sibling bribing a pack of siblings with junk food or favors so that they’ll leave the sibling alone with their crush

And if you have more to add (even if you don’t have many siblings), by all means, please do so in the comments! This was pretty fun to think about, even if messily organized.


(A crosspost from my other books and writing blog)

Photo by Markus Spiske

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Stages of Making Empanadas for the First Time

Stage 1: “Oh wow, look at this quick recipe for empanada dough. It looks so easy!”

Stage 2: “Crap, I don’t have a food processor or a or a pastry cutter or a rolling pin. Well, I can just make do, right?”

Stage 3: “Get into little tiny pieces, you f*cking stick of butter. No, stop sticking to the fork. STOP. Argh!”

Stage 4: “Why is it so dry? I’m pretty sure it’s not supposed to look like sand.”

Stage 5: “Okay, after adding copious amounts of water, the dough is made and now I need to let it chill for a bit I guess?”

Stage 6: “F*ck I let it chill for too long and now it’s hard as a rock. Now it’s gotta thaw!”

Stage 7: “It’s thawed and now I just realized that I’m gonna have to break it up into little pieces since my impromptu roller a la wine bottle can’t handle all of the dough.”

Stage 8: “Oh, cute little circles! I’m getting so close to finishing even though my hands feel like crap from all of the mixing and rolling.”

Stage 9: “‘Add shredded chicken and cheese.’ F*ck. I forgot about that.”

Stage 10: “Why won’t these damn empanada edges seal? Stop spilling open. Staaahp.”

Stage 11: “Look at all these cute hand pies I finally have. And it’s only 1:30 AM!”

Stage 12: “Well, time to freeze them and go to bed so that I don’t have to reflect too closely on my poor life choices!”

Inspired by a real-life experience in which Cinnia traded 5 hours of her life to make 25 empanadas because she didn’t think things through very well and forgot to follow the rule of “mise en place” before attempting anything.

Note: The picture is not mine; I got it from here. Believe you me, you don’t wanna know what mine looked like, but definitely not this nice!

Greetings, Earthlings

You might know me from the other blog.

Or not.

Maybe you know me from a long time ago, when I blogged more often.

Or perhaps you recognize me from other websites.

But if you are like 99.9999% of the other 7 billion people in the world, you probably don’t know me at all.

If so, greetings, and welcome to a snapshot of my cloudcukoolander brain. Please wear ANSI Z87.1 standard safety glasses and carry a towel. (You never know when you might need it.)

I dedicate this blog to my weird and wonderful interests, as well as the bizarre bits of humor, ranting and inspiration that float into my brain not unlike literary flotsam and jetsam.

Do you have a bizarre sense of the world?