Dear brain, go to sleep.

I am a chronic insomniac. I’ve had trouble falling asleep as long as I can remember, with the exception of nights when I’m so exhausted that I pretty much pass out.

Recently I’ve started noticing this trend:

  1. Wake up feeling a little depressed, listless. Maybe even anxious or sad for no apparent reason.
  2. Go through day as usual. Feels like swimming through molasses. Everything is slower and harder to accomplish. I usually don’t accomplish very much on these days.
  3. At night, have trouble falling asleep:
    • If I’m self-aware, I force myself to write or read a book and shut down all technology until I fall asleep around 11 PM.
    • If I’m not self-aware or avoiding some sort of problem or trying to block out some anxious feeling, I stay on the Internet or some other task until I crash around 1-2 AM. And I can’t seem to force myself off the Internet until my eyes physically refuse to stay open.
  4. Wake up the next morning feeling significantly more cheery and energized:
    • If it was a “good night”, I feel much better and get a lot of stuff done and feel genuinely optimistic about my day.
    • If it was a “bad night”, I still get a lot of stuff done, but the quality of the work is lacking, I feel anxious and stressed out, and I tend to crash and go to sleep much earlier in the night (10-10:30 PM).
  5. Repeat for at least once every week or so.

And there is significant psychiatric data ([1], [2], [3]) to support the idea that insomnia and sleep disturbances are associated with (bingo!) depression and anxiety.

It’s simple: Control the sleep habits, get a mood boost.
It’s also complicated: Controlling the sleep habits means managing my Internet addiction by developing completely new, self-aware habits. Easier said than done!

My goal for the next while is to break the nighttime habits that keep me awake while in a bad head-space. If I feel moody, I have to force myself to get some sleep, because I know I’ll feel so much better the next day. And that means giving up the news, Reddit, YouTube, and tumblr for  a significant amount of time… (*sigh*)

At least I still have you, WP.

Notes: “Late Night” by Jani Ravas

 

Advertisements